Sergio Garcia Wins Players: "I want to thank Tiger for not being here"

"Hi Tiger," Sergio says. "I'd like to thank you for not playing this week at Sawgrass."

"Oh, not a problem, Serrrrg," Tiger replies. "I knew you'd been struggling the last few years and falling down in the rankings. You needed this one. Besides, I was having fun in Orlando watchin' my boy Superman run the show."

"Sounds like a fun time, Tiger. I hope your knee rehab is going well. Maybe you'll be ready to come back for next year...?"

"Umm...I guess you didn't get the memo, eh Sergio? I'll be back in time to beat you guys up at Torrey Pines."

(Sergio quickly calls Tanya Harding)

"Riiight...Well maybe we can get together sometime and get some grub..."

"I never really liked you, Sergio. I hope you realize that I'm going to win the US Open by 10 shots."

"I know you will...but your wife is hot."

(Click)