Tiger Returns...as Caddie

Aaaaaaaaand I make my triumphant return to sports blogging. Wow, it's been a while. I'd love to tell you all that I've been busy, but I haven't been. From the time of my last post (in June) to now, I've been doing a lot of golfing. That's what I do in the summer. But now that summer is over, I figured I'd get back into filling your free time with my random ramblings. A wise man once said, "stick to what you're good at." It's not necessarily that I'm good at rambling, but ya gotta start somewhere. I may as well give my fingers some exercise...

Deep down, Tiger is pissed off. The first photo of him back on a golf course after a heroic US Open win at Torrey Pines is at Torrey Pines. But this time, he's loopin' for some 59 year-old chump who won a contest. The dude even 5-putted. That's the thing about big league contracts. Millions of dollars in your bank account in exchange for standing in a bib, grinning like a fool while pretending to be having a good time.

There's nobody who smiles as wide as Eldrick. Hopefully we'll be seeing those pearly whites come April in Augusta.

Show Stopper: Tiger Woods Wins 14th Major, Slows Wall Street, Rules Internet

Realizing that this is probably my 10th posting about Tiger, I decided to write it anyway. How can you not be impressed with this man. Gimping around on one healthy leg, he managed to birdie the 18th hole twice to force Rocco Mediate to beat him on an extra hole. Unfortunately for Rocco, the clock struck midnight and his time to shine was over.

Not to take anything away from Rocco - because he played unbelievable and didn't even think of blinking against the world's number one - but wasn't Tiger's performance simply stunning? I can understand the frustration that some viewers may have with the Johnny Millers and Chris Bermans bringing up Tiger's knee injury every 3 seconds, but for Eldrick to visibly limp around the golf course and still manage to win his 14th major is mind boggling. He really is that good.

Seems as though millions of others across the world thought the same. Here's an interesting little story about how Tiger slows down trading on Wall Street.

Forget about the 25,000 people in San Diego who played hooky from work and followed the action down at Torrey Pines on Monday, how about the schlubs like myself who streamed most of the action, setting a record along the way.

Happy Trails: Mike Piazza Calls It A Career

That's it...Mike Piazza retired today.

I've been a Mike Piazza fan ever since he broke into the Majors winning the NL Rookie of the Year award in '93. I was an even bigger fan when he was the '96 All-Star MVP. And I was kinda hoping he'd kick Roger Clemens' ass in the 2000 World Series when the Rocket tossed the butt-end of Piazza's bat at him. Unfortunately, nothing really happened in that Game 2. Same goes for Mike and the Mets' hopes for a World Series title.

Although he never won the big prize, he certainly racked up his fair share of accolades.

How does this sound: The best slugging catcher in baseball history.

Pretty good ring to it. That's because it's the truth. In fact, he made me want to be a catcher growing up. Unfortunately, I couldn't hit like he could. My game was more defensive - like Charles Johnson - who Piazza was traded for in a blockbuster deal with Florida in '98.

He's leaving the game after 19 seasons in the Bigs. A 12 time All-Star, 10 time Silver Slugger, knocked out 427 career dingers, 1335 RBI's and held a .308 average with the LA Dodgers, Florida Marlins, New York Mets, San Diego Padres, and Oakland A's.

Any way you look at it, he was damn good.

Gonna miss ya Mike!

Sergio Garcia Wins Players: "I want to thank Tiger for not being here"

"Hi Tiger," Sergio says. "I'd like to thank you for not playing this week at Sawgrass."

"Oh, not a problem, Serrrrg," Tiger replies. "I knew you'd been struggling the last few years and falling down in the rankings. You needed this one. Besides, I was having fun in Orlando watchin' my boy Superman run the show."

"Sounds like a fun time, Tiger. I hope your knee rehab is going well. Maybe you'll be ready to come back for next year...?"

"Umm...I guess you didn't get the memo, eh Sergio? I'll be back in time to beat you guys up at Torrey Pines."

(Sergio quickly calls Tanya Harding)

"Riiight...Well maybe we can get together sometime and get some grub..."

"I never really liked you, Sergio. I hope you realize that I'm going to win the US Open by 10 shots."

"I know you will...but your wife is hot."

(Click)

Summed Up Nicely: "That is a gutless, 6"7, .200 hitting, formerly good player, joke"

You have to hear what the announcers think of the "formerly good player" known as Richie Sexson. Do you think he thought to himself, "hey, wait a second...that ball didn't come as close as I thought it did. Oh well, I'm already half way to the mound, I may as well launch my helmet at him."

By the way, you suck Richie Sexson.

Montreal Players: Yet ANOTHER Reason to Hate the Habs

Here we have one of the NHL's elite players: Tom Kostopoulous. If you've ever hung around this site before, you can undoubtedly pick up the level of sarcasm in that sentence. We all remember the Feta-loving Tom K as part of the ambiguously dumb duo of Habs players who were arrested for stealing a woman's purse in a Tampa nightclub earlier this year. They stole $20 from her! With salaries around $500K, I guess they were really hard up on cash to pay the rookie dinner bill. Funny. But, his latest stunt from Game 2 of the Philly/MTL semi-final series makes you want to slap him...and I'm no Philly fan. Take a look at his gutlessness.

Montreal Riots: One More Reason to Hate Habs Fans

In case anybody outside of Montreal needed another reason to dislike Canadiens fans...here's a video showing the riots on St. Catharine outside of the Bell Centre last night. You would think this franchise had never won a Cup, by the looks of it.

Congrats, Habs fans. Your team managed to (barely) make it out of the 1st round over a team that wasn't supposed to win a single game. Ole!

Here's hoping they're eliminated 4-straight in Round 2. It'll either be Philly or New York.

Chalk One Up for South Africa: Trevor Immelman Wins '08 Masters

Before I continue, I must apologize. Don't really know who I'm apologizing to, because nobody reads this...but I've been away from writing for a couple weeks. Main reason: I escaped the dreadful winter for a few days to sunny Palm Springs, California. Will post pics soon enough...

Anyway, let's talk Masters.

Trevor Immelman became the first South African to win the Masters since his boyhood idol Gary Player did it 30 years ago.

Well done Mr. Immelman. He's certainly coming into his own on Tour. Can't knock his play all week. He hit the ball better than anybody all week, especially his tee-game. Didn't hurt that he made a few putts, but hey, to win the Masters you've gotta make a lot of putts. That's where Tiger struggled...couldn't buy a putt, even with his wallet.
Immelman finished at 8-under, followed by Tiger at 5-under. That's 2 years in a row Tiger has played second fiddle at Augusta. Oh well, so he'll only win 3 majors this year.

Big Diesel All Up In Your Grill

OK, so I realize this game happened almost a month ago, but I'm posting it anyway. Nice jump over the kids in the front row, but check out the elbow he gives to the guy in the black t-shirt. That's a whole lotta human comin' in full tilt.

Late Bloomers: Sens stack a 5-piece on Bufftown in 3rd

Do they really have to leave it 'til the very end of the game to wake up? If the last 2 games are any indication, then yes.

9 third period goals for the Ottawa Senators in the last 2 games.

After giving up 2 quick ones in 25 seconds to Buffalo, the Sens' offence exploded for 5 goals in 8 minutes to take a 6-3 vic and pretty much solidify the playoff fate for the Sabres. It was nice to see Dean McAmmond use his speed for a change when he drove hard to the net and got a nice feed from Vermette. That made it 3-2, but the fact that it was a short-handed goal woke up the Senators' offence. Opened the floodgates, if you will. Alfie tied it up going shelfy like only he knows how...ping!

I can't not write about my boy Volchenkov getting his first goal of the year with a blast from the blueline...ping! Oh yeah, it's worth mentioning that I was talking about how the A-Train hadn't scored a goal all season seconds before he sniped. Game winner to boot!

It's been quite the fall from grace for Buffalo this year, after capturing the 1st seed in the East in '07. Of course, no Briere and no Drury. Just Derek Roy, Thomas Vanek, and Jason Pominville to carry the load. Their D is nothing special either. I have no sympathy for them, though. It sure was nice to see Sabres fans sprint out of their seats when Alfie lit the lamp making it 5-3.

Let's see if the Sens can take the 2nd of this home-and-home with Buff on Thursday at the SBP. Maybe this time they'll spread their goals out a little more.