Yankees sign Billy Crystal: What?

Yes. It's true. Billy Crystal will be throwin' on the pinstripes of the Bronx Bombers for a spring training game this Thursday against the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Look out for #60...which is also his age.

The question remains: what position will he play? Sit A-Rod and play'em besides Jeets on the left side? Perhaps scratch Jeets and let him and Cano turn a couple double plays...Or, maybe let him run around in the outfield chasing fly balls? Wait a second, they're playing Pittsburgh. We all know they can't get hit it out of the infield. Which begs another question: when will Jason Bay jump ship and ditch the Pirates?

Anyway, where will Billy bat? He may not be lead-off material, but if his high school stats (.348 as a senior in high school) are any indication, he should be tucked somewhere between 3rd and 5th in the order. Imagine he hit a long bomb? If that happened, I think Pitt should be kicked out of the league.

Next up: Jack Nicholson dishin' to Kobe with the Lakers? Jerry Seinfeld throwing a no-hitter with the Mets? Gotta love the MLB. Millionaires, steroids, and comedians. Insert joke here. I'm too lazy.